awkward.

(from before we started dating but close enough! God I loved those feather earrings...)

As my husband mentioned today in his facebook status, today is the 6th anniversary of our most awkward date ever: our second date. Before getting together, I knew Ryan from the record store he worked at and through mutual friends. We also hung out, fairly irregularly but we got together when we could. I was in college, he was working full time. I was always excited to hear from him and to go out and by go out it meant either for coffee or concerts. In the days leading up to our first date (in retrospect I don't think I knew it was a date?), we were hanging out more than usual and I confessed to my best friend that I really liked this guy. It felt weird to say outloud. Good but weird (especially since I think she responded 'duh!' or something to that affect. I probably was talking about him more than I thought). One night we drove down to the waterfront and he kissed me (best part: right before it happened I was blabbing about Andrew Lloyd Webber and I think he kissed me because he wanted me to stop. Also because he liked me but still, how smooth am I? So thanks for the hook up ALW. I owe you one). The next day, I remember locking myself in my parents' bathroom and calling my best friend (I lived at my parents in between college and my apartment with Ryan). Our next date, Memorial Day, was spent walking around, going to Dunkin' Donuts and not knowing what to talk about. I think at one point we talked about tattoos. It was awful. I went home panicked it was over.

And that was the last time I ever saw him.

Ha ha. I kid, I kid.

But yikes, I get embarrassed now just thinking of how awkward it was. Did you guys ever have a bad date like this?

some things I love

here are some things that are making my days wonderful:


(see #4)

1- green juice*
2. chili lime pistachios + trader joes' chili mango popsicles
3. gardening!
4. new pornographers' electric version
5. sundresses + rompers
6. neighborhood dogs + adorable neighbors
7. giveaways!
8. having the windows open + awesome breezes
9. spending lots of QT with my husband
10. bare feet + bright nail polish
11. sleeping in
12. bird chirping
13. getting more custom orders for tiny bear!

So #7 requires a bit more explanation. I will be doing a couple of giveaways on my blog this week and will also be giving away two tiny bear animals here and here. Be sure to check those blogs out for more details and check back here later to win some great stuff!


* I make this all kind of ways but always using kale. Then I add in juice or silk coconut milk (has anyone else had this?? its dreamy!), celery, lemon or lime juice, half a banana and some ice.

my boo

(what I bought at the yard sale this weekend)

Anyone else love Parks & Rec? Anyone else clap and get teary eyed when Ben and Leslie finally kissed? Well anyways I am a super fan. It is definitely my favorite show on tv right now (I also LOVE Bob's Burgers. How awesome is Kristin Schaal? She is always part of the best shows). So anyways, for anyone who doesn't watch it, there was an episode the other week where Tom (Aziz Ansari) was making Jerry, Donna, April and Andy play 'Know Your Boo' (which he admitted was a rip-off of the Newly Wed game. Also, I realize I am going off on a tangent here but has anyone watched the Newlywed Game lately? It's ridiculous! The last time I saw Ryan's grandma before she passed away, the three of us were watching it and she kept asking what they were saying and it was really awkward since they were actually questions like 'Where do you like to do it?' and yes, they said 'do it'). Anyways, Ryan asked me how we would do if we were to play 'Know Your Boo'. I thought we would do pretty well. I feel like I know alot about Ryan, I know what he likes, lots of stories about his life, I think I know what makes him happy and how he would answer game show questions (he would answer them with lots of sass, that's for sure). On Sunday we went to a neighborhood yard sale and Ryan bought a binder a neighborhood boy had designed specifically for the sale. It was called 'Wildlife Explorer by Timothy' and he drew lots of different animals and filled the binder with animal facts. It cost 25 cents. This reminded me of the summer when we first started dating. We got together right around Memorial Day and his birthday is in August. Even though I had known Ryan since high school, I was still nervous about what to get him for the first birthday I was his girlfriend. I did know he liked comic books, especially superman. So I went to a flea market and bought everything superman related they had there. They had records (like books on tape) and figurines etc but his favorite thing I bought him was an activity book that a child had already filled out. It made me so happy that I had made him happy. So when I saw Timothy's book, I kind of already knew Ryan would buy it. He bought it because it is obviously awesome but also to make a little boy's day. Lately, lots of things have been up in the air in our lives but I know my boo. We'll make it through this. Whatever we're doing, wherever we are, we'll be together. I can deal with uncertainty if I have that.

my ears are burning + a new mix

happy friday all! hope your enjoy the mix today + if you have time, please check out what two lovely ladies had to say about tiny bear stuffed animals.


To Hell with Good Intentions- McClusky
Go With The Flow- Queens of the Stone Age
Mr. You're on Fire- The Liars
That's How I Escaped My Certain Fate- Mission of Burma
I'm a Pretender- Exploding Hearts



Create a playlist at MixPod.com

For more Mixtape Master madness, peep the playlists on these blogs:
Hi-Fi Weddings Tylre. Ten Thou Bride Fashion Under 100 Jo, Rooting One Cat Per Person another damn life Savoir Weddings Fancy Notion Dead Flowers Casa De Kaloi Bunnies’n’Beagles My San Francisco Budget Wedding Existing Between Reality and Dreams Smile in Motion
Be a Mixtape Master. Email Angie or Ashley to get in on it

a sad song + getting my comeuppance

This is another song post.

I was reminded of this story while listening to this song. It made me think back to high school art class. We were allowed to listen to mixed tapes we had made (that is until we were listening to some Warren Zevon and the teacher was slightly horrified by some of the lyrics). I had one cassette dubbed 'the sad mix' (how ridiculously emo was I? this was during my hippie phase too! or maybe not, maybe this was during my I-just-learned-how-to-apply-eyeliner-like-crazy phase?). I don't remember everything on the tape (I know there was atleast one Cure song, maybe one from Bloodflowers? Also, 'Anna Begins' by Counting Crows) but I know for sure 'Pretty Pathetic' by Smoking Popes was on there. I don't remember everyone in my class but I do remember the girl who terrified me who I used to work with at Dunkin Donuts (she thought I was a total jerk when I quit after I got some 2nd degree burns), a bunch of people I thought were really cool because they already had tattoos and piercings, and another kid who I sat with who bought candy bars from me all the time (I was on the robotics team (I know you're jealous) and I had to sell candy bars for our trip to Disney). Also, I remember sitting with this kid I would later have an uncomfortable you-like-me-I-don't-like-you situation with (when he told me, we were driving home from either Friendlys or the mall, I'm not sure which but all I remember is feigning stomach pains and asking to be driven home. Oh lord, I am cringing now just thinking about that. I am such a bad liar so I'm guessing he realized what was going on and simply drove me home. That was almost as bad as a similar situation I had working at a summer camp where I was literally RUNNING away from a boy who told me this. In my defense, they were both kinda creeps. Also, having written that I hope they somehow don't read my blog. Don't worry, I got my comeuppance later when I tried to kiss someone and they ran away from me. Reading this, I realize how lucky I am that I married to a great guy and how someone he wants to hang out my crazyass self. Thankfully, he does not run away when I try to kiss him). Also, I may be merging several classes I took into one super class and maybe I didn't have class with all these people? I don't know why I'm telling you this since you don't know who was in my class anyways (Liz, you of course will). Anyways, Smoking Popes always reminds me of my best friend (the aforementioned Liz) too. I first heard about them from her, they were on a WBCN mix cd she had (local rock radio station that has since been taken over by a pop music station). I was lucky enough to catch their reunion show a couple years back with Ryan and loved every second of it and bought a ridiculous shirt I will never wear.

marketing help?

So I feel like one of the reasons I never got a (good) internship or job in college was that I was afraid to follow up with phone calls because I feared I would be seen as annoying or bothersome. I realize now that that is being proactive but I still struggle with how to do that right and with feeling guilty about it.

On that note:
Does anyone have any advice on how best to get the word out about my etsy shop? I've been harassing people on twitter + facebook and even set up a facebook page. I bought an ad on a website. Where do I go from here? Thanks in advance for any help you can offer!!


(the squirrel)

dinner + some updates

It's been a while since I've done one of these. Dinner* was very tasty (granted I ate it over polenta so that may be why it tasted so good)



Let me start by saying sorry I have not been updating regularly. (1) blogger was freaking out on Friday, I swear I was going to post a mix! (you'll just have to wait until this week) (2) I was away on a surprise 3 day birthday weekend for my sister-in-law (3) my husband's grandmother passed away and (4) it seems like I either have to work on the shop (by this, I mean sew my brains out) or go online/catch up on blogs or do errands/cook dinner/ clean the house. It's hard to do all of the above after work or on the weekends. How do you guys find a balance? I am struggling with that in my life. I am also struggling with trying to be happy for others and less jealous. It's ongoing. Nothing good comes from this and its wasting/sucking my time and energy away from me.

It's all about little steps.

I just need to convince myself of that!

*dinner adapted from this recipe

find me and follow me

So instead of word vomiting all over my blog (I have about 300 unfinished posts full of that), I thought I would write about a music memory. Trust me, its better than those unfinished posts (you'll have to take my word on that).

On my drive home tonight, one of those great moments happened. A streak of good songs. A streak of good songs which ended when I pulled into the parking lot. How awesome is that??? I heard: 'Dog days are over' Florence & the Machine, 'You're all I have' Snow Patrol, 'No you girls' Franz Ferdinand, 'Closer' Nine Inch Nails. Don't judge me. Those are all excellent car songs. I'm sure my fellow commuters love looking at me screaming along the lyrics in my car. If you could bottle the confidence I have singing alone in my car, you'd be rich. And confident! So anyways, Franz Ferdinand always reminds me of living in the city. And my friend Amy who I miss a lot. Most of these FF memories, specifically the song 'Matinee', are of walking to and from work. I lived in Roxbury and I would walk to my job in the Fenway Park area, about 20 minutes or so. I would bring my ipod (the original huge mini fridge one) with me. So picture this: awful dyed red hair, jeans (a smaller jeans size. sigh), some "girls tee" version of a concert shirt (90% chance of it being a Decemberists tee), converse, and my gigantic ipod poking out my backpocket. Oh and I'm singing along. And doing lots of hand motions. I'm big into hand motions when I sing along, meaning I look super cool. In this particular memory, I am wearing my Elvis Costello shirt which was red with a black design that I bought to impress a guy I liked (Ryan). Every time I opened at work, I would pass this older woman walking her pomeranian (who looked just as old as the woman). I remember the first day I didn't see her, I was so sad and nervous one or both of them had passed away. But then there were back the next day. That was about 6 years ago now. I hope they are still out there walking and smiling politely to awkward art school girls who clearly shouldn't dye their own hair.