Monday, February 21, 2011

play my favorite song...or else

Topic 1: Concert Etiquette (or more accurately: 'musical bitching')

So it seems I am very finicky concert person (Ryan kept shaking his head at me and saying 'so many rules!'). If you were to observe me from a distance explaining my thoughts, you would probably see my mouth moving alot and lots of finger pointing/finger waving (you know the whole 'naughty naughty' finger wave). Here are some things I feel should be established concert going rules:

1- stop shouting out shit! (ex. 'TAKE YOUR TOP OFF! WOOOOO!' or 'OH MY GAWD I LOOOOOVE YOOOOOUUUU!" or stupid stuff like 'CATERPILLAR!!!', i.e. some weird inside joke no one else gets but you and your small gaggle of friends. I have no issue when people shout out songs they want to hear (as long as they are by the artist who is playing or a known cover...why do people just shout out songs they like in general?!)

2. keep the stage banter to a minimum! (I have decided I can think of one artist whose stage banter I enjoy. Ben Folds. His stories are great and he is funny. Everyone else, unless your voice is swoon worthy in general, just play your songs please. I do not want to hear 'you're all going to get laid tonight!' First time I heard that at a show, I was at a Blur/Dandy Warhols concert...with my dad. Also, do not ask if I am having a good time. We're all cheering and singing and dancing. Of course we are having a good time. You would most likely know if we weren't and stage banter wouldn't make it better.)

3. stop the jams! (I understand some people like when people rock out and make a 2 minute song 15 minutes long with weird guitar songs. I am not that person. Please say the song so I can sing along! That's my favorite part. I also don't like forgetting what song you are even playing.)

4. and quite possibly my least favorite thing of all time...the encore. (okay, so we paid money to see you, why do you not just play until you run out of time? why do we have to clap for your love and act like you won't come back out when we know you will? my hands hurt. why am I still clapping? Usually when its time for the encore I either do a half-assed clap or cross my arms and glare until the artist comes back on).

whew. thanks for listening to that.

do you guys have any concert pet peeves or a similar long list of rules?

*I named the band after this which consistently cracks me up (the rest of the episode stinks but I love the beginning) but apparently there is a real band too!


  1. My biggest musical performance pet peeve is audience based: the people who stand around behind you and talk through the whole damn show! I have been known to scream obscenities at them.

  2. I have to say that the Bare Naked Ladies have great on stage banter. They are hilarious.

    I hate the people who make fun of other fans. So what if I am a 26-year-old woman dancing and singing along to a band's music like a fan girl. Stop being so judgmental. Relax and focus on the music and you might have more fun.

  3. I agree, mine are more audience based: don't puke on me, please don't show me your nuts, also don't go and be a hater.

    But bands need rules too! :)

  4. I have one band related prevent and that is when they play ONLY really deep album cuts. I want to hear an occasional big song to sing along with, ok?

    The rest of my issues are all audience related. Like, please don't get so drunk and annoying. Also, I hate it when people just sit there! I spend most concerts on my feet into the music. Why waste your money if you aren't even going to enjoy it.

    P.S. This may give my secrets away, but I'm a huge proponent if the extended jam. Holy crap, my inner hippie has been exposed!

  5. Okay, so in defense of the jams (which, I agree, are annoying), they're usually either: (a) built into the program to give the singer's voice a much needed rest or (b) impromptu because someone's guitar string, drumstick, monitor, or peddle broke and needs to be replaced without letting the audience know that there is something wrong. This is true pretty much every time if the jam is longer than 3 minutes.

    Sister of a local musician.

  6. julie- yes! those people are the worst

    ms. bunny- agreed! do not make fun of your audience! sheesh!

    jolynn- no puke or nuts is a good rule for most occasions

    heather- no its good you're a fan of the long jam! i'm glad people are some people are!

    sarah- good to know! I never knew that, thanks for inside information!